Being a first time mom can be scary. There are so many unknowns, and all of the angst surrounding consistency and colour of your baby’s poop, length of naps and how much milk she’s getting fill up your world. Then that baby grows up a little, and you have another. And you truly don’t give a shit about all of those things anymore, because your toddler is having a meltdown about the colour of his spoon while your baby spits up all over the sweater you’ve been wearing for 4 days now, and you’re trying to judge who will be louder and more disruptive if you ignore them first, while you take care of the other one (the answer is the toddler. ALWAYS the toddler). Here are seven other ways to tell that you’re a second time mom:
1. You have an older “baby” that cries WAY more than your actual baby.
2. You dread the day when the new baby learns how to crawl, because you’ll have to try and convince your toddler that tiny toys have to be kept out of reach. And we all know how well THAT rule is going to stick. *rolls eyes*
3. You laugh maniacally now, when anyone talks about avoiding screen time before the age of one.
4. You stop sterilizing bottles one month in. Because, really, how can they be dirtier than your toddler’s hands, post-daycare?
5. You realize that having just one kid around feels like a GODDAMN VACATION.
6. You’ve mastered the art of feeding the younger child (bottle, breast, solids, doesn’t matter) while the older one climbs all over you, demanding your attention.
7. Your current baby is simultaneously easier and 10x more difficult, because, while she still does Basic Baby Things that you sorted out the first time around, she is also the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of your first child in almost every other way.
Now mamas, don’t get mad. This isn’t to say that moms of more than one kid are better than moms of just one kid. But if you see a woman, out with her new baby, that looks like she’s above and beyond the normal new mother exhaustion, check to see if there’s a toddler trailing behind. Because if there is, that poor lady is getting her ass handed to her on a regular basis.