Holy cow, how is this the eighth episode, already? You thought you weren’t going to get this week’s installment, but I tricked you. The day isn’t done yet!
It’s been a long week here at Casa des Assholes. Yours truly had to perform in several concerts over the past week, and there were multiple evening rehearsals, on top of numerous writing deadlines. You know, for places that actually pay me for writing, ha ha.
Anyway, since these posts are generally mostly about the Threenager, I thought I’d also share a few fun things about baby C: he turned 9 months this week, finally figured out crawling (basically), thinks being able to wave is the funniest thing EVER and is also pulling himself up! The excitement truly doesn’t stop, around here.
The Husband: Alright, kids, I’ll be right back. I’m going to get your mother alcohol.
Me: *flips off the Husband*
The Threenager: Dada, you’re not being-have! (she meant behaving)
Me, leaning in to tell the Threenager a secret: Guess what?
The Threenager: Don’t breathe in my face.
Me, having just finished making grapes out of black Play-Doh: Here you go, sweetie! I made some black grapes to go with your blue ones.
The Threenager, condescendingly: That’s okay Mama, I don’t want your grapes. You can keep them.
Me: Can you please stop being defensive?
The Teen: I’M NOT BEING DEFENSIVE.
The Teen: Oh. Well. Okay.