I am so screwed.
I have a training-resistant kid who does not give a flying fuck if she wears diapers for the rest of her goddamn life.
And she starts kindergarten in exactly 3 months.
I should be clear that this isn’t standard kindergarten that everyone starts when they’re 5. This is called Junior Kindergarten, and it starts the year children turn 4, here in Ontario. So, you know, my kid isn’t THAT far behind, if you’re currently judging me for letting her reach that age before using the toilet.
Anyway, I’m not looking for advice; I know exactly what I need to do. We didn’t want to pressure her or force her before she was ready, for a myriad of reasons, but after a year of “not pressuring her,” we’re down to the wire.
Did you know that both my kids, almost 3 years apart in age, are currently wearing the same size diapers? Tell me that’s not fucked up. I keep joking that baby C will be out of diapers before the Threenager. He already eats more than her, sometimes, and is more keen to feed himself than she often is. So, you know, not that big a stretch. He imitates everything she does, anyway.
Wouldn’t that be funny, in a macabre kind of way? Baby C, just a year old and barely walking (I’m projecting here, he isn’t walking yet), figures out a way to sign when he has to use the toilet, and totally embraces going on the potty. The Threenager is like, “HA HA, SUCKER. I don’t even need to tell anyone when I need to go! You’re so dumb.” She eventually decides she wants me to home school her, so that she can stay in diapers forever…uhh, that won’t really happen. I don’t think.
Bless her heart. She’s a Virgo, if that means anything to you. If it doesn’t, don’t judge me. It means she has to do things her own way, and lord knows that’s how she’s been since she graced us with her presence.
But next weekend, come hell or high water, the diapers go away and never come back. I think she’ll be okay for the peeing part of things, but I have a feeling…well, I have a feeling there may be some poop stories in the not too distant future.
Have you had trouble toilet training a child? How long did it take?