In the past, I have admitted to my daughter that I can be an asshole. That I am less than perfect, as a mom, and that I have a lot to apologize and feel guilty for.
Today is not that day.
Dear sweet, lovely daughter of mine,
Today, Mommy is a goddamn saint.
This morning, when you woke up and immediately demanded a Popsicle and 3 episodes of Caillou, Mommy took a deep breath. Then, Mommy smiled and deflected that request by asking if you wanted to play doctor 17 times in a row. Then, she let you watch a single episode of Caillou and made it seem like a special treat.
Mommy knows what a fucking miracle she just created, averting the meltdown that was about to happen there. Especially since it was 6:02am and she hadn’t yet had a single drop of coffee.
Later on, when you were begging to watch Frozen and Mommy was tempted to let it happen, just so she could zone out on the couch for an hour or so, she offered the Next Best Thing to TV. She offered to take you to the park for the rest of the morning, so you could burn off some energy. Even though it meant getting you dressed, getting herself dressed, brushing your hair and *sob* putting sunscreen on everyone. On a day she’d rather not leave the house.
All for you.
When it was lunch time, and you declared that you would only eat 22 Goldfish, no more, no less, Mommy nodded and smiled and parlayed that into a balanced lunch. 5 slices of cheese, 3 crackers, 3 mini carrots, 6 cucumber pieces and a slice of apple is no small victory. And you STILL got your Goldfish, but you didn’t want all 22 because you were already pretty full, from lunch. Ha!
This afternoon, while the baby napped, you asked if you could make a craft with glitter. Instead of pretending she didn’t hear you, Mommy decided to Mom Up and say yes. Yes to the glitter. Sweetie, you have NO IDEA how special you are, that she said yes to the glitter.
See what I mean? SuperMom.
And when you wanted to “play Frozen,” which essentially means re-enacting all the scenes you know by heart from the movie, Mommy said yes, because she knew how big your smile would be. And even though she wanted to roll her eyes every single time you asked her if she’d like to build a snowman, Mommy played along.
Today was a day that Mommy said Yes. Yes to the things that were good for you, that maybe took a bit more energy than she wanted to give and a bit more clean up than she wanted to do. But she did them anyway. Because, sweet girl, you are worth it, every single time.
And while Mommy can’t always muster the MommyBalls that it takes to do the right thing, she is always so much happier when she sees YOU so happy.
Which means that, after kicking up her feet tonight with a nice glass of wine, she will try and be this good again tomorrow.
But she’s not making any promises.